Ep 32 - God Should Not Be First In Our Lives!

Equipped to Lead Podcast: We can read our Bibles, say a prayer, and still live the rest of the day as if it belongs to us. Scripture says Christ has first place, but his first place cannot be contained in a religious slot. Today we'll see how his lordship reaches our home, work, money, and rest, and how to bring one divided area back under him. Welcome to the Equip to Lead podcast. I'm Corey Couture, and this podcast exists to help men lead with strength, serve with humility, and love like Christ. Today, our episode is titled God Should Not Be First in Our Lives. Now, I know that title may sound a little crazy. I'm not trying to be clever for the sake of being clever, but I do want us to slow down and look at a familiar phrase that can mean something biblical. But it can also hide a divided life. By the end, I want us to be clear about what Scripture says Christ really is first, but he isn't the first box that we check before moving on to everything else. We'll also walk through a simple way to find one area where we've been living as if Jesus weren't involved in our life at all. Our main passages are Colossians 1 verse 16 through 18 and Colossians three verse 17. These passages keep us grounded so this doesn't turn into a catchy idea that sounds good but isn't biblical. Let's begin with Colossians one verse sixteen through eighteen, where it says, For by him all things were created, both in the heavens and on the earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities, all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things and And in him all things hold together. He is also the head of the body, the church, and he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he himself will come to have first place in everything. So here we see Paul gives us a big view of Jesus. All the things were created through him and for him. He is before all things, and everything holds together in him. He is the head of the church, he is supreme. And he has first place in everything. So when I say God should not be first, I'm not denying Christ's supremacy, not at all. Jesus isn't tied with our other priorities. He isn't one more voice asking for our attention. He is our creator, sustainer, head, king, and lord. But don't miss how far this passage reaches. Paul doesn't say Christ has first place only during our quiet time or while we're sitting in church. All things were made through him and for him, and all things hold together in him. That means that means his rule reaches the whole day. Then Paul gets very practical in Colossians 3:17, where he says that whatever we do in word or deed should be done in the name of the Lord Jesus with thanksgiving to God. Whatever is a big word, it reaches to the kitchen and to the job site, it reaches the meeting we don't want to attend. And the argument we wish we could take back. It reaches our budget, the browser, our words, our choices, our leadership, and our rest. When you put those passages together, the picture gets clear. Colossians 1 tells us Christ has the highest place. Colossians 3 tells us there isn't a part of ordinary life outside of his rule. Christ is first in rank and central in reach. Matthew 6 33 belongs here too. Jesus tells us to seek first God's kingdom and his righteousness. That is real priority language. But Jesus isn't talking about giving him 20 minutes before work and then living the next 16 hours however we want. To seek his kingdom first means we let him be king over all of it. What happens after our Bible is closed, who rules our tone, our calendar, our spending, and our decisions. Biblical priority isn't only about what happens first on the clock, it's about what governs everything. Everything that follows. I want to be fair to the phrase God first, family second, and work third. Most of us use it because we're trying to say that God matters the most in our life. If that's what we mean, there isn't anything wrong with saying it. The trouble starts when we live as if those are separate boxes. We have a God box, a marriage box, a work box, a money box, and a weekend box. And then we assume Jesus only belongs in the first one. Have you ever tried to do the math? If we work eight hours and pray 20 minutes, does work outrank God? Or if we take our wife on a date, did family move above him? Or if we sleep for seven hours, did comfort win? Thinking like that doesn't help us. Most men are going to spend a lot of time working. Husbands and fathers need to give real attention to their families. We also need sleep. God made us with limits, so The clock by itself cannot tell us who is Lord of those hours. We can spend an hour reading the Bible and still refuse the one thing God told us to do. And we can pray in the truck before walking into work and then honor Christ all day by telling the truth, doing good work, staying patient, serving the people around us. The question isn't whether the task looks religious, the question is who are we obeying while we do it? A to do list says. Finish the first item and then move on. The Lordship of Christ says, Bring the whole list to me. The word sinner is just a picture to help us understand that. I'm not trying to replace the Bible's word first. I'm saying Christ's first place reaches every part of life. Every role connects to him. Every decision is made before him. Every good gift comes from him and should be used for him. God doesn't belong at the top of your list. Christ belongs at the center of your life. So what does this look like on a regular Tuesday? Maybe there isn't a worship song playing. Maybe we're packing lunches, sitting in traffic, answering an email, fixing something around the house, or just trying to get everybody out the door. The question isn't only, did I do something spiritual today? The better question is, how does following Jesus shape what I'm doing right now? I've caught myself coming home tired, telling myself I'm only going to check ⁓ one thing on my phone and then looking up after far too much time has passed. Meanwhile, the people I say matter most are sitting right there next to me. Have you guys done that? We can pray at supper and still be absent from the room. Jesus cares about how we listen, how we repent, and whether the people closest to us are getting our presence or only what's left of us. At work, Christ at the center changes what drives us. Work isn't competing with God. It can be one of the main places that we obey Him. But think about that email that hits wrong, the boss who overlooks us, or the coworker who gets credit. What comes out of us then? If achievement tells us who we are or approval controls our peace, the job has moved from a calling to a throne. Money gets real practical too. We may be standing in a store looking at something we want. Already knowing that the budget is tight, the first question is usually can I make the payment? But a Christ-centered question is, would this be faithful? Earning, giving, saving, spending, generosity, contentment, and taking care of our families all belong to Jesus. Rest can expose us just as quickly. Some of us call it rest when we're really hiding. We sit down after a long day and start scrolling or watching one or more things on our phone, and two hours disappear. We aren't refreshed, we're just numb. Other men can't stop at all because being needed has become part of their identity. Even on a quiet Saturday, they feel guilty unless they're fixing, building, mowing, or producing something. Jesus is Lord of our work and he is Lord of our limits. He can teach us to rest with gratitude instead of using rest to avoid life or using work to prove our worth. A life centered on Christ isn't about looking spiritual in public. It's about the same Lord ruling us at church, at home, at work, online, and when nobody is watching. Jesus says the greatest commandment is to love God with all of our heart, soul, and mind. Loving God most doesn't mean we stop loving everybody else. It means he teaches us how to love them rightly. We're supposed to love our wife, children, neighbor, church, and even our enemies. We can enjoy our work, good food, friendship. Learning, time outdoors, and a hobby. Those are gifts. The question is whether we receive them as gifts from God or start asking them to do what only God can do. So let me ask us something. What keeps making our decisions? Maybe it's approval. We know the honest answer, but we soften it because we can't stand somebody being disappointed in us. Maybe it's comfort. We know we need to have a hard conversation, but we keep putting it off. Maybe it's control. One change in the plan ruins our whole mood. Whatever keeps calling the shots is showing us what has moved toward the center. That is why changing behavior by itself won't go deep enough. We need the Holy Spirit to show us what we're loving, what we're afraid of losing, and what we're trusting beneath the behavior. Psalm 73 says, in effect, Whom have I in heaven but you? The psalmist isn't saying nothing else matters. He is saying God is his greatest treasure and the one who will not fail him. Psalm 16 talks about setting the Lord continually before us. In plain language, we keep bringing our attention and our choices back to him. When Christ is our deepest treasure, the other loves in our life can breathe. We don't have to make our family complete us. We don't need a promotion to prove we matter. Money doesn't have to make us feel safe, and rest doesn't have to become our escape. Now let's bring this even closer. Galatians 2 verse 20 says, we've been crucified with Christ, and Christ now lives in us. Philippians 1.21 says, to live is Christ. 2 Corinthians 5.15 says, we no longer live for ourselves, but for the one who died and rose for us. That's a whole lot deeper than adding a few Christian habits to a life we're still running for ourselves. Christianity isn't Jesus helping us become the version of ourselves we already plan to be. He gives us a new identity and a new purpose. Our life belongs to him now. That changes the big decisions, but it also changes what we do when the dishes are piled up, the grass needs cutting, the child needs one more answer, or our wife wants to talk when we're worn out. Romans 14 says that whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Acts 17 says we live and move and exist in God. We don't have a private section of life that somehow belongs only to us. There isn't a room where we can hang a sign that says, Jesus, stay out. Not at our office, not in the garage, ⁓ not on our phone, not the thoughts we entertain when nobody else knows. The question is, is there an area where we've been acting like his wisdom and commands don't apply? And if Christ lives in us, we aren't left to obey in our own strength. The Holy Spirit gives us power to become men. We could never make ourselves through grit and willpower. A centered life isn't a heroic man trying harder to keep God involved. It's a dependent man learning to trust Christ and obey him one decision at a time. Most of us are never going to announce Christ is no longer the center of my life. Drift is quieter than that. Something good becomes too important. Something useful starts controlling us. Something we enjoy turns into something we believe we cannot live without. So how do we recognize that? Well, let me ask you a few questions. Don't rush past them. We aren't trying to diagnose somebody else. We're asking the Lord to search us. What loss would make you feel like life was no longer worth living? That question may show where your hope has attached itself. Or what criticism makes you instantly defensive or angry? This is going to show what are what you are trying so hard to protect. Another one is when you're stressed, where does your mind run for relief? This is telling us what you imagined would finally make everything okay. Which command of Jesus do you keep trying to renegotiate? Is there an area where you want his comfort but not his authority? Where are you one man around Christians and another man when nobody from church is around? What does that difference reveal? And what responsibility has God clearly put in front of you that you keep avoiding because something else feels more important? We can even hide behind good things. A man can stay busy at church while his wife carries the home alone. He can chase overtime while refusing to look at the budget. He can help everybody else with their problems while never dealing honestly with his own. Our wife is a covenant partner, but she cannot save us. Our children are a gift and a responsibility, but they aren't an identity work project. Work matters, but it makes a horrible king. Money is useful, but it cannot promise tomorrow. Rest is good, but it wasn't made to hide us from obedience. When a good thing takes the center, we'll start using it, fearing its loss or letting it control us. When Christ is at the center, we can love that good thing without asking it to be God. If the Lord is putting his finger on something right now, that conviction is mercy. Jesus exposes false sinners because he wants to free us from masters that cannot love us back. Before we make this practical, I want to put up a few guardrails. A strong phrase can get twisted if we aren't careful. First, Christ-centered living does not mean Matthew 6.33 is wrong. We should seek the kingdom first. Christ should have first place, and the center picture simply helps us see how far that truth reaches. It doesn't cancel the word first. Second, this isn't measured by how many minutes look religious. Prayer, scripture, worship, Church fellowship and service matter deeply. We need them, but we don't prove whole life faithfulness by winning a devotional stopwatch contest. Third, Christ-centered living doesn't mean ignoring normal responsibilities so we can stay busy with church activity. We don't honor Jesus by volunteering for one more event while breaking promises at home, avoiding honest work, or refusing to deal with bills that need our attention. Sometimes the most Christ-centered thing we can do is Is much less impressive. It could be putting our phones down and listening to our wife. It could be finishing the repair we've promised to finish for three weekends in a row. It could be telling our boss the truth. It could be going to bed instead of pretending exhaustion is faithfulness. Or it could be to call a counselor, a pastor, a doctor, or a financial professional because wisdom tells us we should not carry the problem alone. Fourth, having Christ at the center doesn't mean turning every conversation into a sermon or using spiritual language to cook to cover poor judgment. Following Jesus should make us more truthful, teachable, responsible, gentle, courageous, and present. And finally, this isn't a formula for comfort, success, health, or easy relationships. Obedience may cost us. Christ at the center doesn't mean God has to bless our plans. It means our plans belong to Him. Now let's turn this into something we can actually do. I call it the center check. Grab a blank piece of paper and give yourself 10 honest minutes. In step one, I need you to write the word Christ in the center of the page and draw a circle around it. The drawing isn't magic, it simply gives us a picture of the truth we've been talking about. Next, around that center, write home, work, money, and rest. And if another area is pressing on you right now, maybe it's your health, friendship, sexuality, ministry, or technology, whatever it is, write that down too. And then next, we're going to look at each each one of those areas and ask the question Am I living this part of my life under the Lordship of Jesus? Or have I been acting like he is absent? Now don't settle for vague guilt. Ask for something specific. At home, maybe it's the sharp tone we use when we're tired. Or an apology we've delayed. At work, maybe we've padded a number or grown bitter or started cutting corners because nobody checks. With money, maybe packages keep showing up while the budget stays unopened. In rest, maybe we pick up the phone every time the room gets quiet because we don't want to face what's going on in our heart. And then next, I want you to circle one area and choose one clear act of obedience for the next seven days. One area In one action. We aren't trying to rebuild our whole life by Saturday. Maybe you say, tonight I will apologize to my wife for the way I spoke, or tomorrow I will correct the number I reported, or this week I will open the budget and tell the truth about where we are, or maybe I will charge the phone outside of the bedroom, or maybe I will take the evening of rest I've been resisting and receive it as a gift. And then once you do that, then pray something simple. Jesus, this area belongs to you. Show me what obedience looks like. Give me courage to act, and show me what I've been loving or fearing more than you. If that step requires a hard conversation, wise counsel, or professional help, put it on the calendar. Prayer is not an excuse to avoid the action God has already made clear. We aren't trying to make a nice looking diagram. We're bringing one real part of our life back under the gracious rule of Christ. If we're honest, every one of us knows what a divided life feels like. We've called Jesus Lord while protecting a small kingdom of our own. We've wanted his forgiveness without his interruption, his comfort without his commands, and his gifts without his rule. The gospel does not tell us to hide that or clean it up before we come to Jesus. Christ came for sinners. Colossians 1 doesn't only show us that everything was created through Christ and for Christ. It also points us to the one through whom God reconciles sinners to Himself. The king who belongs at the center is the Savior who went to the cross for us. Jesus did not wait for us to get our priorities straight enough to deserve him. He died for men who are self directed, distracted, proud, and divided. He rose from the grave and he gives new life to everyone who trusts him. So when the Holy Spirit shows us that work, approval, comfort, control, and Money or family image has taken the sinner, we don't have to defend it. We don't have to sit there drowning in shame either. We can repent and come back to Christ. Repentance means turning away from the false sinner and returning to Jesus. That may involve confession, paying something back, changing a habit, having a hard conversation, setting a boundary, or asking for help. But our hope is not that we make the correction perfectly. Our hope is in Christ who holds his people and keeps working in us. We don't put Christ at the center so he will finally love us. We bring every room of life back to him because by grace we already belong to him. Guys, God isn't a line item. He isn't the first box we check and then leave behind. Christ is before all things. All things were created through him and for him. Everything holds together in him and And whatever we do in word or deed belongs under his name. So yes, seek the kingdom first, let Jesus has have first place, but don't shrink that truth into a religious slot we finish before living the rest of the day for ourselves. What would change if Christ were at the center of our home, work, money, rest, ambition, words, relationships, and hidden life? Where is he calling us to obey today? Do the center check, identify one area you've been running on your own, and choose one faithful act of obedience to bring it back into the light and back under the Lordship of Jesus. God doesn't belong at the top of your list. Christ belongs at the center of your life. Thanks for joining me on the Equip to Lead podcast. If this episode has helped you, subscribe wherever you listen and share it with a man who is trying to follow Jesus in the ordinary parts of life. Until next time. Be strong and lead well. Let's pray. Father, every part of our life belongs to you. Forgive us for giving you a religious slot while holding back our home, work, money, rest, and private decisions. By your spirit, show us one area that needs to return to Christ's Lordship and give us humility to confess, courage to obey, and strength to follow through. Thank you that we belong to you because Christ died and rose for us, not because we get every priority right. Let our worship reach every ordinary and hidden choice, and we ask it in Jesus' name. Amen.