Ep 25 - What if I Feel Burned Out?

Equipped to Lead Podcast: Have you ever been tired in a way that sleep does not really fix? I don't mean you've had a long day and you need a good night's rest. I mean the kind of tired where your body is still moving, but your soul feels worn down. You're still showing up, still going to work, still providing, leading, still serving, still answering the phone, still handling what needs to be handled, but on the inside you feel empty. You start to notice you are shorter with your wife, you're less patient with your kids, you're numb when you pray, you're distracted when you worship. And the things that used to bring you joy now just feels like one more thing to do on the list. When somebody asks you, How are you doing? and you say, I'm fine, you push through, you call it responsibility, you tell yourself, this is just what men do. But what if burnout is not something to ignore? What if that exhaustion is not just weakness? What if it is a warning light? What if God is using that weariness to show you that you have been carrying too much, running too fast, and living too long in your own strength? Well, today on the Equip to Lead podcast, we are answering the question, what if I feel burned out? Welcome to the Equip to Lead podcast. I'm your host, Corey Couture, and I'm glad you're here with me today. Today, we are answering the question: what if I feel burned out? This is one of those topics that probably affects more of us than we really want to admit. There are a lot of men carrying a heavy load. We are carrying work pressure, family, financial, ministry pressure, leadership, emotional, spiritual pressure. And if we're honest, sometimes we are carrying things God never asked us to carry. Some of us are tired because we have been faithful through a hard season. And some of us are tired because life has just been hard. Some of us are tired because we have been serving, giving, leading, and pouring ourselves out. But some of us are tired because we have been living outside of God's design. We are trying to be everywhere, fix everything, and please everyone. We're trying to carry every burden, make every decision, and hold everything together in our own strength. And eventually that wears a man down. Burnout is more than being tired after a long day. Tired can often be helped with rest, but burnout goes much deeper. It is when our body, our mind, our emotions, and even our soul feel depleted. It is when we are still doing the right things, but our heart feels dry. It is when we are still moving, but the joy is gone. It is when responsibility starts to feel like a weight that we cannot put down. Now let me be clear, this episode is not an excuse for laziness. The Bible calls men to diligence, responsibility, endurance, and faithfulness. We are not called to quit every time life gets hard. But we also need to be clear about this. The Bible does not command us to destroy ourselves trying to prove that we are strong. There is a difference between perseverance and burnout. And there is also a difference between faithfulness and foolishness. There is a difference between carrying our cross and carrying burdens God had never assigned to us. So today, we are going to walk through with what Scripture has to say about weariness, rest, recovery, boundaries, and renewed strength. Because God does not just call us to run hard. He teaches us how to run in his strength. The first thing we need to see is this. Even faithful men get tired. Sometimes we act like spiritual men should never feel exhausted. We tend to think if I were stronger or if I were more disciplined, or if I were more prayerful, or more mature, I would not feel this way. But scripture gives us a much more honest picture than that. Faithful people in the Bible got tired. Moses got overwhelmed, Elijah got exhausted, David cried out in weariness. Paul knew what it meant to be pressed and burdened. The disciples grew tired from ministry demands, and even Jesus in his humanity withdrew to quiet places. So if we are tired, that does not automatically mean that we are failing. It simply means we are human. Isaiah 40, verses 28 through 31 says, Do you not know? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the creator of the ends of the earth, does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutible. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might, he increases power. This passage does not say God gives strength to men who pretend they are not weary. It says he gives strength to the weary. God is not weary, but we are. God does not grow faint, but we can. That is why we need him. Men, one of the first steps in dealing with burnout is admitting our limits. And that is hard for us. We like to feel capable like we can be depended on. We like being the one that others can count on. We like being able to say, I got this or I can handle it. But guys, we are not God. We are not unlimited and all powerful. We are not all-knowing and all-present. We need sleep, food, prayer. We need scripture, fellowship, quiet, and help. Basically, we need the Lord. Burnout often comes when we forget that we are creatures and start trying to live like we are the Creator. God has no limits, but we do. And that is not a flaw in his design. That is part of his design. Our limits are meant to remind us that we were made to depend on him. One of the most comforting passages in Scripture for the burned out soul is Matthew eleven verses twenty eight through thirty, where Jesus says, Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is comfortable and my burden is light. Listen to what Jesus invites here. He invites the weary and the burdened, not the impressive, not the polished, not the men who have it all together, not the men who can keep pretending everything is fine. He says, Come to me, all who are weary and burdened. That means burnout is not something we have to hide from Jesus. It is something we bring to Jesus. But we need to pay attention to the kind of rest Jesus offers. He does not just offer a break, he offers rest for the soul. There is a kind of tired that sleep cannot help, but there is also another kind of tired that sleep alone will not fix. We can take a day off and still feel anxious. We can go on vacation and still feel restless. We can sit in a recliner and still feel burdened. We can sleep eight hours and still wake up carrying the same weight in our soul. Jesus gives rest that reaches the inner man. And notice what he says first come to me. That is the center of the answer. Not that we must first come to a better schedule or hobby or entertainment. Those things may have their place. While a better schedule may help or a hobby may be healthy and a break may be needed, none of those things are the foundation. Jesus says we must first come to him. Burnout is not only about how much we are doing, it is also about who we are doing it with. and who we are doing it for and what strength we are doing it from. A man can burn out doing good things if he is doing those things disconnected from Christ. Jesus does not call us to carry life along. He calls us to come to him, to take his yoke, to learn from him, and to find rest for our souls. So men, one of the most spiritual things we may need to do is to stop pretending we are fine and come honestly to Jesus and say, Lord, I am tired, I am worn down, and I am anxious, I am carrying too much, and I need you. When we do that, it is not weakness, it is faithfulness. Psalms 23 gives us another beautiful picture of God's care. Here we see David says, The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. Here we see the Lord is not only the God who commands us, he is the shepherd who cares for us. He leads, feeds, protects, and guides us. We also see in this passage that David says, He restores my soul. Men, some of us do not just need a lighter week. We need soul restoration. We have been living noisy, hurried, pressured, and overextended lives. We have been running from one demand to the next. We have been feeding our minds with constant noise, stress, updates, problems, our phone screens, and constant pressure, and our souls are weary. Psalm 23 reminds us that God leads his people to quiet places, not because quiet is weakness, but because quiet is where the soul remembers who the shepherd is. We need quiet because burnout often makes everything loud. Our problems, deadlines, bills, people's expectations. Our own fears and thoughts get loud, but the shepherd leads us beside quiet waters. So maybe one of the things we need to do is to build quiet back into our lives. Not just entertainment, scrolling, or zoning out, but quiet, quiet before the Lord and time in his word. Prayer without rushing and space to think and to listen. Space to be reminded that the Lord is our shepherd and we are not in control of everything. Some of us are exhausted because we have not let the shepherd lead us. We have been driving ourselves, pushing ourselves, pressuring ourselves, and condemning ourselves. And all the while the Lord is calling us back to his care. One of the clearest pictures of burnout in Scripture is Moses in Exodus 18. Here we see Moses was leading the people of Israel, and from morning until evening, people were coming to him with disputes, quietness. Questions, decisions, and problems, and he was judging everything himself. Then his father-in-law, Jeffhro, saw what was happening and basically said, Moses, what we are doing is not good. We are going to wear ourselves out and we are going to wear the people out too. This task is too heavy for you. You cannot do it alone. That is a phrase a lot of men need to hear. You cannot do it alone. Moses was not being lazy or selfish. He was serving. He was leading and helping people. But he was trying to do it all by himself. When Jethro spoke to him, he did not say, Moses, you just need to try harder. He said, This is too heavy for you. Then he told Moses to appoint capable men to help carry the load. Moses needed help. He needed to delegate and share responsibility. Men Burnout often grows when we believe the lie that every need is our assignment, or that every problem is not ours to solve, or every burden is not ours to carry. Every decision does not need our hand on it, every request does not require our yes. Every emergency is not actually an emergency. Some of us are worn out because we have confused faithfulness with being indispensable. We like being needed. We like being the one that people can call on. We like being the fixer. But underneath that can be pride, fear, control, or a desire for approval. Moses had to learn that sharing the burden was not failure. It was wisdom. Delegation is not weakness. Asking for help is not weakness. Letting others step up is not weakness. Saying, I cannot carry all of this alone is not weakness. If Moses needed help, so do we. Another powerful picture comes from Elijah in 1 Kings 19. Elijah had just experienced an intense spiritual confrontation on Mount Carmel. God had shown his power, the prophet of Baal had been exposed, but then Jezebel threatened Elijah and Elijah ran for his life. He went into the wilderness, sat under a broom tree, and asked God to take his life. Elijah was exhausted, he was afraid, and he was discouraged, he was depleted. And how did God respond? He did not start by giving him a lecture. He did not shame him. He did not say, Elijah, after all I have done, how can we fe how can you feel this way? God sent an angel who told him to get up and eat. Then Elijah slept. Then the angel came back again and told him to eat again, because the journey was too great for him. Here we see God cared for Elijah physically before giving him the next assignment. Men, we need to pay attention to that. Sometimes we over-spiritualize burnout and ignore the obvious. Things like, have we slept and eaten well? Or have we been running on caffeine, stress, and adrenaline? Have we taken a real day off? Or have we been working late every night and calling it discipline? Have we been ignoring our body and expecting our soul to stay healthy? We are embodied creatures. God made us with bodies. Physical depletion affects emotional and spiritual strength. Now not every problem is solved by a nap and a meal, but sometimes we are trying to make major life decisions, fight spiritual battles, lead our families, and process discouragement while our bodies are completely depleted. That is not wisdom. Elijah needed the Lord, but he also needed rest and nourishment. Some of us need to stop making life altering decisions while we are exhausted. We don't need to quit our job or blow up a relationship, abandon a ministry, or make a major financial decision just because we are worn down in a hard week. We need to rest, eat, and pray. We need to talk to a godly brother and get some perspective. Sometimes the journey is too great for us, and God provides strength one step at a time. Mark 631 says, Jesus told his disciples, Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a little while. Why did he say that? Because there were so many people coming and going that they did not even have time to eat. Does that sound familiar? I know it does for me. People coming and going, constant needs, no time to eat, no time to rest, no time to breathe. And notice Jesus did not say, push harder. He said, Come away and rest. Men, don't miss this. Jesus had more important work to do than any one of us ever will. There was no one who had a greater ⁓ mission, greater responsibility, or loved people more perfectly than Jesus. And yet he withdrew. He went to a desolate place to pray, and he rested. He slept in a boat, he was not controlled by every demand placed on him, and that should challenge us to If Jesus in his perfect humanity lived with rhythms of prayer, solitude, withdrawal, and rest, why do we think that we can live without them? Sometimes we act like rest is just being lazy or unspiritual. But Jesus commanded his disciples to rest. This does not mean we become soft, it means we become wise. When we are burned out, we are often not as effective as we think we are. We may still be producing, but we may also be becoming harsh, distracted, resentful, impatient, prayerless, and spiritually dry. Rest is not just about stopping work, it is about returning to God in trust. Isaiah thirty fifteen says, In repentance and rest you will be saved, and quietness and trust is your strength. That is a hard concept for driven men to grasp. We often think strength is found in movement, effort, hustle, noise, and control. But God says in quietness and trust is our strength. Psalm 46, 10 says, stop striving and know that I am God. Stop striving. That does not mean that we stop obeying, working, and leading. It means stop living like everything depends on us. Some of us are not just tired from work. We are tired from trying to be sovereign. Where we are trying to control outcomes, people, the future, our reputation, how others see us, or what might happen next. And that kind of striving will wear out a man's soul. Psalm 127 2 says, It is vain for you to rise up early, stay up late, and eat the bread of painful labor because God gives to his beloved even in sleep. That verse does not condemn hard work, it confronts anxious work. There is a kind of labor that honors God, and there is a kind of labor that reveals that we do not trust Him. Rest reminds us that God is still working when we are not. Sleep reminds us that we are not holding the universe together. Sabbath rhythms remind us that our worth is not measured by constant productivity. Men, if we cannot stop, we need to ask why. Are we being faithful or are we being afraid? Are we being diligent? Or are we trying to prove something? Are we carrying responsibility or are we refusing to trust God? Rest is not laziness when it is received as a gift from God and practiced in faith. Now we need balance here. The answer to burnout is not quitting every hard thing. Galatians 6 9 says, Let's not become discouraged in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not become weary. Paul knows that doing good can become tiring. Serving our family, leading well, working with integrity, doing ministry, fighting sin, bearing burdens, and staying faithful in a hard season can all be tiring. Notice that Scripture does not say, if it gets hard, walk away. It says, do not lose heart. Biblical perseverance is not the same as self reliant striving. Second Corinthians 4 16 says Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer person is decaying, yet our inner person is being renewed day by day. So how do we keep going? We must be renewed. That means perseverance requires renewal. A man cannot keep pouring out without being filled. He cannot keep leading without being led by Christ. He cannot keep serving without receiving grace. He cannot keep fighting without spiritual nourishment. We must not grow weary in doing good, but we also must not try to do good disconnected from God. Jesus says in John fifteen that He is the vine and we are the branches. Apart from Him we can do nothing, not less nothing. Burnout often reveals that we have been trying to produce fruit while living disconnected from the vine. The answer is not simply to try harder, the answer is to abide in Christ. We need to remain in his word and pray honestly. We need to walk with brothers and worship with the church. And we need to receive his grace daily and let him renew our inner soul day by day. So how do we know if we are burned out or if we are on our way to becoming burned out? Well let's look at these ten common signs. First, if we are constantly exhausted even after normal rest. Next, If we have become cynical, resentful, or numb toward the people we are called to love. Next, if our spiritual life feels dry and time with God feels like one more obligation. 4. If small problems are causing big reactions. If we are always busy but rarely fruitful. 6. If we feel guilty every time we stop. If we are withdrawing from our wives, our children, our church, or our brothers. Number eight, if we keep fantasizing about escaping everything instead of faithfully addressing what is wrong. Number ten, if we keep saying yes while our soul is screaming no. And lastly, if we are physically present but emotionally absent. Men, if you start to notice any of these, they are warning lights. Please do not ignore them. Warning lights are not meant to shame us. They are meant to get our attention before more damage is done. So, what do we do if we see any of these warning lights? Well, first, we have to come to Jesus honestly. We don't try to clean ourselves up first. We don't pretend or minimize it. We come to him weary and burdened. We tell him the truth. Lord, I am tired. I am caring too much. And I need rest for my soul. Second, we need to recover our identity. We are not valuable because we are productive. We are not loved because we are useful. We are not accepted by God because we've got everything done this week. If we are in Christ, our identity is in Him. Burnout often grows when we tie our worth to our output. But God does not call us sons because we produce enough. He makes us sons by grace through Christ. Third, we have to examine what we are carrying. We need to ask ourselves, what has God actually called me to carry and what have I picked up that He never assigned to me? Some burdens are ours to bear, and some are not. Some of our responsibilities require faithfulness, while some require delegation. Some require boundaries by saying no to And some require repentance because we have been trying to play Savior. Fourth, we have to build rhythms of rest. Do not wait until after we have the collapsed to build rest into our lives. We need to do it before we get there. We have to protect sleep and take a Sabbath rhythm seriously. We have to create quiet times and take breaks after intense seasons. We have to learn to stop without feeling guilty. Fifth, We have to learn to say no. Every yes we give is also a no. When we say yes to every extra demand, we may be saying no to our wives, our children, our health, our church, our prayer life, and our soul. Saying no to one thing may be the way we say yes to faithfulness. Sixth, we have to share the burden. We need to talk to our wives, a trusted brother. And our pastors. We have to bring people alongside us. If we don't, our isolation makes burnout worse. The body of Christ is not an optional accessory. God designed us to need one another. Galatians 6 2 says to bear one another's burdens, and that means we must be humble enough to let others know we have burdens. Seventh, we need to simplify where we can. Some of us are burned out because our lives are too cluttered. We have too many commitments, too much noise, spending expectations, and too much hurry. When we simplify things, it helps us focus on what matters most. Eighth, we definitely do not make major decisions from a depleted place. We need to make sure we have had plenty of rest, that we have prayed and sought counsel first to gain clarity on the situation. Because burnout can make everything look darker than it really is. Ninth, We must return to the ordinary means of grace. We need to make sure we are not neglecting scripture, prayer, worship, fellowship with our brothers in Christ, confession, and obedience to Christ. But we must also make sure these things must not become a checklist. They are gifts from God given to strengthen his people. And lastly, we must ask what faithfulness looks like today. Not next year, but Not for the rest of our life, but just today. Sometimes when we are burned out, the future feels overwhelming. So we must take the next faithful step of obedience, whatever that looks like for you. Whether it is to pray, eat, sleep, apologize, spend time in God's Word, call a brother and have a conversation, or just ask for help. Whatever that one faithful step of obedience is, we need to do it. One step at a time. Now I want to speak directly to the man who may be listening and thinking, Corey, I do not just feel tired. I feel like I cannot keep going. Well, brother, do not carry that along. Tell someone today, talk to your wife, talk to your pastor, talk to a trusted friend, a counselor, or a doctor. If we are if you are in a dark place or thinking about harming yourself, reach out for some immediate help right now. And that is not weakness, that is wisdom. Elijah was a prophet of God, and he reached a place where he did not want to go on, and God met him with care, provision, patience, and truth. We are not less of a man because we need help. A strong man is not a man who hides everything. A strong man is a man humble enough to bring his weaknesses into the light and receive the help that God provides. So you may be asking. What do we do if we feel burned out? Well, first, we have to come to Jesus. We have to stop pretending we are fine. We have to admit our limits. We have to let the shepherd restore our souls. We have to stop carrying what God never assigned to us. We have to learn to rest, ask for help, set boundaries, and depend on the strength that God supplies. Burnout is not something to ignore, it is a warning light. And maybe today the Lord is using that warning light to call us back, not to laziness or quitting or passivity, but to dependence. We are to work hard but not to worship work. We are to serve faithfully but not pretend to be the Savior. We are to lead with strength but not carry life along. Psalm 5522 says, Cast your burden upon the Lord, and he will sustain you. So cast it on him the pressure. The weariness, the fear, responsibilities, the things we cannot fix, the people we cannot control, the outcomes we cannot guarantee, and He will sustain us. So this week, take one honest step of obedience. Pray it honestly, talk to our wives, call a brother, set the boundary, go to bed, and take the Sabbath seriously. Open God's word and ask for help. Stop striving and remember that He is God. The Lord is gentle and humble in heart, and he gives rest to the weary, he restores the soul, he renews strength, and he sustains his people. Guys, I hope today's episode has encouraged, challenged, and helped you take one more step toward becoming the men God has called us to be. We do not have to drift, we do not have to lead in our own strength, and by God's grace we can grow, and we can lead faithfully. We can love sacrificially, and we can keep becoming men who are equipped to lead. If this episode helped you, take a minute to subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen. And if you are watching on YouTube, make sure you subscribe to the channel so that you do not miss future episodes. Also, if the podcast has encouraged you, would you leave us a five-star review? That helps get these episodes in front of more men who need truth, encouragement, and God's word. Also, you can go to equip to leadpodcast.com and get our free 30-day biblical manhood devotion. It is a simple guide to help you lead with strength, serve with humility, and love like Christ. Thanks for listening, and until next time, be strong and lead well. Let's pray together. Father, thank you that you do not despise the weary. Forgive us for carrying what only you can carry. Father, just restore our souls, renew our strength, teach us to work hard, rest well, and rely on Christ. Help us lead with strength, serve with humility, and love like Christ. Amen.