Ep 14 - Why Every Man Needs Brothers

Equipped to Lead Podcast: Welcome to the Equipped to Lead podcast. I'm Corey Kutcher, and I'm glad that you're here with us today. Today, I want to talk to you about something a lot of men know they need, but many of us still avoid, and that's real brotherhood. This week's focus is why every man needs brothers from Ecclesiastes chapter four, verses nine through 12. This matters because you were never meant to carry life, temptation, pressure, leadership. or spiritual battles by yourself. You can be around people and still be alone. You can have coworkers, hunting buddies, gym partners, and guys you laugh with, but still not have a single man in your life who knows you well enough to challenge you, to pray for you, to correct you, and to help you follow Jesus. So today, I want to walk with you through why isolation is dangerous, what biblical brotherhood looks like, why men resist it, and how you can begin building the kind of relationships that actually sharpen you. First, we're gonna see that God did not design you to grow alone. In Ecclesiastes chapter four, verses nine through 12, it says, two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion, but woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. And if one can overpower him, who is alone? Two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Here we see that is not just poetic language. That is reality. We as men, we're gonna get tired. We're gonna be discouraged. We're gonna get tempted. We're gonna get hit hard by life. And when that happens, you need another man close enough to help lift you up. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. That is a picture of strength through connection. A man woven together with godly brothers is far harder to break than a man standing alone. Proverbs 27, 17 says, iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. That kind of sharpening is not soft. It is not passive. It is not always comfortable, and there is gonna be friction. There is gonna be contact, and there is gonna be force. But the result of all that is you have a sharper edge. That is the whole point. God uses other godly men in your life to shape you, to refine you, to strengthen you. If iron sharpens iron, then the iron left by itself stays dull. A lot of men are spiritually dull and do not even realize why. They are trying to fight lust alone, lead their families alone, carry stress alone, process disappointments alone. and battle temptation, fear, and fatigue alone. They may still be functioning on the outside, but inwardly they're wearing down. Isolation makes you vulnerable. We also see when you isolate lies get louder. The voices in your head get louder. Temptations get stronger. Discouragement you feel goes deeper and pride just keeps whispering in your head that you're fine and you can handle this. Isolation usually does not announce itself. It typically sneaks in. It starts to sound like I'm just busy. I don't need to bring anybody into this or I'll get it straightened out first and then I'll reach out to some. You usually are not one massive decision away from collapse. More often than not, you are a hundred isolated little compromises away from collapse. Needing brotherhood is not weakness. It is God's design. Next, I want to talk about what real brotherhood actually looks like. You know, not every friendship sharpens you. Just because you hang out with a man does not mean he is helping you follow Christ. Just because you laugh together does not mean he is making you more faithful. Biblical brotherhood has depth to it. One of the first things a biblical brother tells you is the truth. Not just what feels good, a real brother does not just tell you what you want to hear. He tells you what you need to hear. He's not impressed by your image. He only cares about your soul. He's not there to flatter you. He is there to help form you. Next we see a biblical brother strengthens your faith. In 1 Samuel chapter 23, verses 16 through 17, We see that Jonathan went to David and strengthened his hand in God. That is one of the clearest pictures of biblical brotherhood in scripture. David was in a hard, uncertain, dangerous season of life. He had been chosen by God, but he was still living like a fugitive. And we see Jonathan met him in that place and strengthened him in God. That is what a godly brother does for you. He reminds you of truth when you are tired. He reminds you of God's promise when you are discouraged. He reminds you of your calling when you feel like quitting. Next, we see a biblical brother stirs you towards obedience. Hebrews chapter 10, verses 24 through 25 says, to consider how to stir one another up to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, brotherhood should move you somewhere. A godly brother does not just help you vent, he helps you obey. He does not simply sympathize with your spiritual laziness, he lovingly calls you forward out of it. Next we see a biblical brother makes honesty possible. In James chapter five verse 16 it says, therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed. A lot of men would rather hide than confess, but hidden sin grows. Confessed sin gets dragged into the light. We see that confession is not about humiliation, it's about freedom. It is about breaking secrecy, inviting prayer, support, accountability into the very places where the enemy has been working unchecked. Next we see a biblical brother is always running in the same direction as you. Second Timothy chapter two verse 22 says, to flee youthful lust and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. who you run with matters. If the men around you normalize compromise, passivity, crude talk, spiritual apathy, and secret sin, they are not sharpening you, they are dulling you. You need men around you who are chasing Christ and want the same for you. Now that we've talked about God's design for biblical brotherhood and what that actually looks like and what a biblical brother does, next I want to talk about why you may resist brotherhood. And one of the first things right out of the gate, which is typically what we ⁓ tend to run into as men, is our pride. You may think that you don't need help. You think to yourself, I can figure this out or I'm fine. But pride is one of the fastest ways for us as men to stay stuck. One of the next things that stops us from seeking brotherhood is fear. You may be afraid that if you open up, you will be judged, misunderstood, or even seen as weak. So you keep everything on the surface, but pretending to be strong keeps you weak. Humility opens the door to real strength in your life. Next, we see another reason why we avoid biblical brotherhood is because of busyness. You may say, I just don't have time, but here's the truth. We tend to make time for what we believe matters. And if your spiritual life, your marriage, your integrity, and your calling matter, then brotherhood is not extra. It is essential. You know, we as men, I know if you're like me, I have things that I love to do. I have passions that I love to do. And typically, even though as busy as I am and all the different things that I have going on in my life, I tend to make time and resources available to do those passions that I have. So we can't let that for us as men be a reason that we don't seek ⁓ brotherhood with other men. We have to make that a priority in our life, just like the other things that we value in our life. We have to do the same thing with that. Next, another reason why men shy away from brotherhood is past disappointments. You may have been let down before and that pain is real, but a bad experience does not cancel God's design. It means you need discernment in choosing the right men, not abandonment of brotherhood altogether. I know most of you out there at some point when you were ⁓ dating, ⁓ when you were looking for a wife or if you're still dating, I know that you, know I have in the past have had bad relationships, have gotten burned on things, but that didn't stop us from continuing to seek a life partner. We knew there was value in that, we were called to that, it was something that we wanted to do and we kept after it. And that's the same way that this brotherhood with other men in our life, those types of relationships should be for us. It should be something that we continue to pursue. Even if you have had a bad experience in the past, we want to encourage you to keep pushing through and to keep seeking those types of relationships. Now that we've talked about some reasons why we stay away from biblical brotherhood and resist it, next I want to talk about how we can actually build these types of relationships. And one of the first things that we need to do is something that we always need to do when we're... in our daily lives, whether it's big decisions, small decisions, whatever it is, we need to pray. We need to pray for the right brothers and ask God to bring godly men into our life. Men who love Jesus, love truth, and will help sharpen us. Next, we need to get planted and not just be present. We need to move from attendance to involvement. Do more than just show up at church on Sunday morning. hear the sermon and leave. You need to stay after and talk to people, talk to other men. I want to also encourage you to serve somewhere, to join a men's group, join another ministry that's going on in the church, and just make room for those relationships to develop. I know that's one of the things that we try to do in our men's ministry. A lot of people ask us, you know, why do we do the skeet shoot? Why do we do prayer breakfast? Why do we do these other activities? And a big component of that is we just want to create the opportunity and the environment for men to come together and have an opportunity to start building those types of relationships, those friendships, and to be able to spend time together and to help you ⁓ build biblical brotherhood with other men that you're around. Next, another thing that you could do is to pursue depth and not just casual contact. You don't need 50 close brothers, but you do need a few men who actually know you and know who you are. And then a part of that is to next to be honest. Sometimes we have to be honest first. Sometimes depth starts when you stop presenting the polished version of yourself. Somebody has to go first and let that be you. And then next, you need to welcome correction. This is probably one of the biggest, I know that I've struggled with and I'm sure that you have struggled with also, is to, we have to be willing and humble enough to accept correction in our life because if we want to be sharpened as men, we have to be willing to receive that friction, that correction. know, a man who cannot be corrected cannot be sharpened. And then lastly, Another big thing that you can do to help build those types of biblical brotherhood relationships is to become the kind of brother that you need. Be the man who checks in ⁓ the man prays for him. Be the man who asks hard questions. Be the man who points another man back to Christ. Be the man who will show up. ⁓ As you're listening this today, want you to ask yourself these few questions. First, who in your life has permission to challenge you spiritually? Who knows where you are weak? Who are you praying with regularly? And who are you confessing sin to? And who is pushing you closer to Christ? And who are you sharpening in return? If you do not have an answer to these questions, This is not meant to shame you, it's meant to wake you up and help encourage you. Brotherhood is not optional if you want to lead well. The isolated man gets dull, the prideful man gets stuck, the guarded man stays weak. But the man who walks in biblical brotherhood gets sharpened. Not because other men replace God, but because God often uses these other men as one of His tools to help strengthen you. If you remember nothing else from this episode, please remember these next few things. First, God did not design you to grow alone. Next, biblical brotherhood brings sharpening, strengthening, and accountability. Next, real brothers tell you the truth, encourage your faith, stir you to obey, and help expose what is hidden. If you want to grow into the man that God has called you to be, You need men around you who will help sharpen your edge. Here's my challenge to you this week. Reach out to one godly man and make it real. Make a phone call, ask that guy to maybe grab coffee or maybe meet before church on Sunday, or stay after the service and talk. And then ask something real. Ask him, how can I pray for you? or what are you walking through right now? Don't overcomplicate it, just take the first step. hope today it's helped encourage you ⁓ to seek out these of relationships ⁓ in your life if you don't have other men around you that are helping to support and helping you grow in your walk Christ. ⁓ I would encourage you to share this episode with another man who needs it. We'd also love for you to email us and just let us know how God has used these episodes in your life. ⁓ We'd love to hear story. ⁓ I'll put a tag the show notes with our email address, so if you can do that, that would be awesome. We would love ⁓ to hear from you So I'm gonna close this out in prayer. I hope you guys have a good rest of your week. Father, Lord, we just come to you today to give you all the honor, glory and praise, Lord. Father, we just thank you for the design that you have for us to have other men in our lives, Lord. I thank you for that desire that we should have in our life to have those men around us, Lord, to help build us up, to help carry us, Lord, when we're struggling. And Father, I just thank you for the opportunity that we have as men to be that for other men in our lives, Lord, to do the same for them. Father, just be with the man that's listening to this, Lord, that doesn't have men like that in his life, Father. I just pray that you will put those men in his path, Father, to make it so he could start building those types of relationships, Lord, to where he could grow and be stronger in his relationship and be closer with you. Father, we just love you and we praise you and ask all this in your name. Amen.